I'm FeEling It Aga!n

this is happening again...
history repeating itself, one thing that i'm afraid of is it comes out worst then before.
i'm afraid this will get me over emotional and will end up worst then last time.
the past shall haunt me over and over again.
this i hate it the most.
i hate the feeling of getting into a deep shit.
if getting into a deep shit but somehow can find the way to clean the shit is not the problem the only problem is i'm afraid that, that shit cant be cleared 100%.
haiz...sad,depression,stress and all the emotions are running and playing games in my heart.
i think my heart doesnt even know how to handle this.
i just feel that this will end up worst then before.
maybe it will end up in a good way or the bad way.
the feeling i which cant control is sadness and depression and it is taking over my whole body and corrupt my mind sooner or later.
how wish there is an angel here to help me out....
how wish there is someone which i can trust 100%...