~Emo!ng!!!!

This days I feel like I am just a no body to anyone...
i keep asking myself who am I?
but there's always no answer to that question which always stikes in my mind...
I keep wondering how am i going to solve this big question inside my head which won't disappear...???
its really weird to have this in my mind...
I often feel this feelings when im always with my friends...
im not sure wether they are my true friends or not...
well for now i take them as my real friends that is...
sooner or later the content of the book will review itself{i guess so}
why do i feel like a no body even though im with my family...?
isnt this just too much?
well i dont really know whats happening to me but some how i feel really angry at times even though no one is in the wrong...
i cant really control myself now a days...
when i feel i want to burst out in flames i just go ahead not like the last time i used to control my anger and frustration...
but now its like a different me inside me, its like i dont feel the same...
this couldnt be PMS...
well im only 19 years old though...
this is seriously getting out of control and i dont like it when im out of control...
some how i felt like i should just dissapear from the world...
its not like anybody shall notice me missing right???
im just a no body neways...
a nobody that shall never be remembered by anyone,anywho or anywhere on earth...
im so lost right now...
1st is the feeling of being left out then comes along with the feeling of 'im just a nobody' then comes along with th anger feeling {just felt like killing anyone who bothers me even though friends and family} later on comes with the 'i should dissapear for everyone's good sake'....
those all this makes any sences???
those all this combined and make up a story line which i should follow???
those all this feelings are telling me that i should do something???
those all this feelings meant anything to me or to this whole entire universe???
now im really confusing myself...
but i cant ignore it...
what if it gets worst or something negative to what i do in real life...???
well this is only a feeling...havent done it in real life yet right...???
well hopefully my rage will not burst out of me...
somehow i just need to be known by some one...
some one who knows how i feel and could help me...
now...i feel that all of my fellow friends had distant away from me...
thats how i feel...
and im feeling really lonely...
my family...is not considered a family{it has already broken up since when i was born}
well...hopefully it brakes up is not because of me...
if it was me...maybe im the one who is at fault and i, myself cant accept this and maybe i shouldnt even exist in this world...
well a family...if one's not happy the whole family tumbles down...this is what i understand of the word family which is true...
because thats my family...
in the end its just me and my blog to keep me company...
well...
friends...family..who ever...what ever...
how wish there is some one or something that understands me and my feelings...